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Thriving

PTSD: A Soldier’s Perspective

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My view of Acadia during a trail run.

The other day I was speaking to my friend and editor of the Blue Falcon Journal, Dan Buckman, about incorporating more of my life beyond the PTSD narrative into the blog. After discussing this further with Scott Lee, we've decided to start a new series called "Thriving" that will highlight everything positive in our lives. My part in the series will showcase the hobbies, activities and professional success I enjoy in order to challenge the preconceived notions about people with war's invisible injuries. My hope is that the combination of this series with our more typical posts about confronting PTSD will illustrate that we here at PSTD: A Soldier's Perspective are not solely pessimistic. We take the good with the bad. So in the same month I might post about suicidal idealization, survivor guilt and triggers as well as the hiking, trail running, beer brewing, publishing articles, presenting papers and other crazy things I do to make myself feel worthwhile.

In most cases, people with PTSD did everything right and they still do all they can to be happy, but continue to struggle with a very challenging condition. It is a myth that those who don't suffer are more resilient and that those who have PTSD are less mentally tough. I have certainly pushed myself to longer and tougher physical challenges after suffering PTSD than I have before. I hope that by incorporating all the positive things I do to keep myself happy, and to lead a life worthy of the gift I have in surviving in concurrence with the daily slog that is PTSD and mTBI that it will become apparent that even the best of us struggle and thrive at the same time. If we wait for all of our issues to subside, for all our baggage to disappear, and for our weights to be lifted; then our lives will pass us by before we ever move forward.

I know its blurred. I think it better captures trail running.

My greatest hope is that people struggling will realize that they can still feel joy and happiness even as we suffer from a difficult and painful disorder. We can have great days even when they are filled with triggers, panic attacks and nightmares. We won't be able to shed those issues, but that doesn't prevent us from living our lives to the fullest. The future of PTSD and mTBI is not predetermined, it is what we do that matters. If you think the groups that should help you the most, will provide all the help you need then you obviously don't read the newspaper, or haven't filed any claims. The more we do to make our own lives better the more we will enjoy our lives. We certainly can't sit on our butts waiting for the military and Veterans Administration to get better. It doesn't make it right that we have to do it ourselves, but that doesn't change the fact that we do. Thriving with PTSD and not despite it is ultimately our own choice. A choice that will bring as much pain, and more difficulty, as it does joy, but all meaningful joy comes from effort: PTSD or not.