How to Design a Custom Toi et Moi Ring

Designing a toi et moi custom ring is one of the most personal and creative ways to celebrate love, connection, and individuality. French for "You and Me," the Toi et Moi ring features two stones—each representing a unique soul—brought together in one harmonious design. Whether you’re creating an engagement ring, a meaningful gift, or a personal statement piece, this iconic style offers a beautiful opportunity to tell a story through gemstones, metals, and thoughtful design choices.

In this guide, we’ll walk you through the key steps and design considerations for crafting your own Toi et Moi ring—so that every element feels intentional, symbolic, and uniquely you.

Step 1: Know the Meaning Behind the Design

Before you begin selecting stones or settings, it’s helpful to understand the symbolism behind the Toi et Moi ring:

• Two stones represent two individuals.

• Their placement—often side by side or wrapping around the finger—represents unity and balance.

• The contrast between the stones can express duality, difference, or complementary qualities.

The design invites a deeper layer of meaning, which is why it's often chosen for engagements, anniversaries, and milestone celebrations.

Step 2: Choose Your Gemstones

This is the heart of your design. The two stones in a Toi et Moi ring define the tone, symbolism, and aesthetic of the piece.

✦ Diamond + Diamond

The most traditional and timeless option. You can play with different cuts or sizes for subtle contrast.

✦ Diamond + Colored Gem

A popular modern twist. The diamond brings sparkle and tradition, while a colored gem adds personality and symbolism.

Popular pairings include:

• Diamond + Emerald (strength + renewal)

• Diamond + Sapphire (clarity + truth)

• Diamond + Ruby (eternity + passion)

• Diamond + Opal (permanence + creativity)

✦ Two Colored Stones

This makes for a vibrant, expressive design. You might choose:

• Birthstones for you and your partner

• Favorite colors

• Symbolic gems (e.g., garnet for grounding, aquamarine for calm)

✦ Size and Shape Considerations

You don’t need matching stones. Part of the beauty of a Toi et Moi ring is asymmetry. You can pair:

• A round stone with a pear or trillion

• An emerald cut with an oval

• A large stone with a smaller one—symbolizing balance or support

Step 3: Select Your Metal

Your metal choice will frame the stones and set the tone for the entire ring.

Popular Options:

• Yellow Gold: Warm, classic, and rich—pairs beautifully with emeralds, rubies, and vintage cuts.

• White Gold / Platinum: Sleek, modern, and perfect for cool-toned stones like diamonds and sapphires.

• Rose Gold: Romantic and feminine—great for pink stones or warm-toned color palettes.

Also consider mixed metals if you want a two-tone look to emphasize contrast between the stones.

Step 4: Pick a Setting Style

Toi et Moi rings come in many forms. The setting is where form meets function—showcasing your stones while protecting them.

✦ Bypass Setting

The stones sit on opposite ends of the band and curve toward one another. This is the classic Toi et Moi layout, symbolizing connection and unity.

✦ Side-by-Side

The stones are placed directly next to one another at the center of the band. This setting emphasizes equality and harmony.

✦ Floating or Open Setting

The stones appear suspended or separated with a small gap—representing individuality within partnership.

✦ Overlapping or Stacked

One stone is slightly above or below the other. This layered look can symbolize growth, journey, or dual roles in a relationship.

Step 5: Decide on Additional Details

Now that your core elements are set, think about the refinements that add personality and elegance.

✦ Accent Stones

Add tiny diamonds or colored gems along the band or around the center stones. Halos, pavé bands, or side-stone accents can enhance brilliance.

✦ Engraving

Include a meaningful phrase, date, or initials inside the band. This hidden detail makes the ring even more personal.

✦ Band Style

Choose a sleek, plain band or a more decorative one. You could go with:

• A twisted shank for added movement

• A split band that frames the stones

• A knife-edge or sculpted band for a modern touch

Step 6: Consider Practicality

Even the most beautiful ring should suit your lifestyle.

• Daily wear: Choose durable stones and protective settings.

• Active lifestyle: Avoid fragile gems (like opals or pearls) for everyday rings.

• Low profile: If you work with your hands, select a design where the stones sit lower to prevent catching.

If your design includes a more delicate stone (like emerald, opal, or tanzanite), make sure to factor in care and maintenance needs.