December 2014 - Motherlode - The Network of Care

Counting the Days: ‘It’s Too Many Whales, Daddy’

To count down the days of her father's deployment, my daughter and I made a calendar adorned with a whale for each day he'd be gone. She was delighted with her work, until she took in what it meant. Read More...

Published Tue, Dec 09 2014 6:28 AM by Motherlode

Filed under: parenting, Children and Childhood, Highlights, United States Defense and Military Forces, Deployment Diary

A Photo of a Stillborn Baby, Proof of Life, and Grief and Memory

When my brother, a writer, put a stillbirth into his last novel, the scene was a gift to me, a way of making public what had been my too-private loss. Read More...

Published Thu, Dec 11 2014 6:38 AM by Motherlode

Filed under: parenting, Pregnancy and Childbirth, Babies and Infants, Stillbirth, Highlights, Whiskey Tango Foxtrot (Book), Shafer, David

There’s So Much to Say About Her Aunt’s Suicide, I Can’t Even Begin.

It’s been more than four months since my sister took her own life, and I still haven’t spoken with my 12-year-old daughter about it. Read More...

Published Sun, Dec 14 2014 5:10 AM by Motherlode

Filed under: parenting, Mental Health and Disorders, Suicides and Suicide Attempts, Depression (Mental), Funerals and Memorials, Highlights

Deployment Work-Ups: ‘This Is So Stupid Hard’

An on-again, off-again schedule to deployment is hard on all of us. In a weak moment, I told my husband that it was easier when he's gone, and I regretted it instantly. Read More...

Published Tue, Dec 16 2014 6:55 AM by Motherlode

Filed under: parenting, Marriages, Highlights, United States Defense and Military Forces, Deployment Diary

‘Are You Going to Give Him a White Name?’

When I was four months pregnant, a friend asked this question casually over lunch. I hadn't yet thought of it that way. Read More...

Published Wed, Dec 17 2014 11:34 AM by Motherlode

Filed under: parenting, discrimination, Race and Ethnicity, Names, Personal, Highlights

Holiday Concerts and the Anatomy of Melancholy

Every year, I try to find a way to embrace the ephemeral, cherry-blossom nature of December, and the way it wallops you over the head with the passage of time. Read More...

Published Thu, Dec 18 2014 12:04 PM by Motherlode

Filed under: parenting, Christmas, Hanukkah, Emotions, Highlights

An Aging Parent’s Frustrations, Heard but Not Absorbed

For years, I've been listening as my once-vibrant father transfers his frustration with his chronic ailments onto me. But when I hang up the phone, I hang up his dissatisfaction, too. Read More...

Published Mon, Dec 01 2014 11:25 AM by Motherlode

Filed under: parenting, Elderly, Highlights, Home Health Care, Elder Care

Looking for Charities That Inspire Kids and Families

Tell us which charities inspire your children, and your family, to give time and money to a cause. Read More...

Published Tue, Dec 02 2014 11:48 AM by Motherlode

Filed under: parenting, giving, Philanthropy, Lieber, Ron

I Can’t Explain

If the goal is to explain the news in a way that helps children understand the world they live in, this morning, I failed. Read More...

Published Thu, Dec 04 2014 8:55 AM by Motherlode

Filed under: Highlights

When Talk of Racism Centers on Black and White, What Does a Brown Parent Say?

In our time, for my generation, for those parents whose skin is not white, the coming-of-age conversation is not about the birds and the bees. It is a conversation about race. Read More...

Published Fri, Dec 05 2014 7:10 AM by Motherlode

Filed under: parenting, Children and Childhood, Race and Ethnicity, Yousafzai, Malala, Highlights, September 11 (2001), Khan, Shahrukh

Read This Before You Buy Another Holiday Gift (or Goat)

We cannot use seasonal charitable giving to put a fig leaf over the ways our passion for cheap clothes and toys contributes to the problems we try to help solve with our donations. Read More...

Published Mon, Dec 22 2014 6:40 AM by Motherlode

Filed under: parenting, gifts, Philanthropy, Highlights, Heifer International, Leonard, Annie, Oxfam, GoodGuide, Greenpeace

Eleven, With Down Syndrome, and Still a Santa-Loving Little Girl. Maybe.

My daughter is still a little girl, with a stuffed Piglet and Velcro-fastened shoes. For years, she's dictated her letter to Santa to me. This year, things were different. Read More...

Published Wed, Dec 24 2014 5:32 AM by Motherlode

Filed under: parenting, Christmas, Santa Claus, Down syndrome, Highlights

Charities That Inspire Kids: Sal’s Shoes

Sal's Shoes collects used shoes from families to send directly to children who need them. Read More...

Published Sat, Dec 27 2014 5:55 AM by Motherlode

Filed under: parenting, Philanthropy, Highlights, Volunteers and Community Service, Charities That Inspire Kids

With Deployment Looming, How Do You Measure a Year?

I remember us, the day our daughter was born after my husband's return from Iraq, telling our families that he wouldn't deploy again "until 2015." Read More...

Published Tue, Dec 30 2014 7:29 AM by Motherlode

Filed under: parenting, Christmas, New Year, United States Defense and Military Forces, Deployment Diary

When It Takes a Dentist’s Chair to Disconnect

If I could lie in a dentist's chair for several hours, why not a lounge chair? Read More...

Published Wed, Dec 31 2014 6:09 AM by Motherlode

Filed under: parenting, Work-Life Balance, Highlights

December 2014 - Motherlode

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