Clearly, a clarion call for the government to step in and put us fatties in camps and feed us tofu until the danger of the Northern Hemisphere overbalancing everything and suddenly flipping the earth ass-over-teakettle is erased! Organize us into work brigades and ship us out to less fat parts of the world to perform manual labor on behalf of... transnational elites who just can't stand the idea of people not knowing their place. And if Michelle Obama and Nurse Bloomberg aren't up to it....